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Santas Christmas Popcorn

by Elf Green
INGREDIENTS: - 2/3 cup unpopped popcorn kernels - 2 cups granulated sugar - 2/3 cup half and half - 1 Tbsp light corn syrup - 1/4 tsp salt 1 tsp vanilla - 6 drops red food coloring (or any other color you'd like) PROCEDURE: - Pop popcorn into a large bowl according to the manufacturer's directions. - Pour popped popcorn into two very large mixing bowls, set aside. - In a large saucepan whisk together sugar, half and half, corn syrup and salt. Cook over medium high heat, stirring constantly until sugar has dissolved. - Heat mixture to 232 degrees, stirring occasionally. Immediately remove from heat and pour in vanilla and food coloring. Drizzle mixture over popped popcorn. - Gently stir popcorn until mixture is evenly coated and coating begins to dry (you'll notice the popcorn kernels separating). - Pour mixture onto waxed paper and allow to dry for about 20 minutes. Store in an airtight container

How Does Santa make his Lists?!

by Elf Green
Well in todays society we are making this very easy for him and his army of helpers!! My secret source suggests a crack team of elite surrogates called the Santa Claws has been going into war zones the world over to deliver presents. “They drop down from the sky like the Claw in Toy Story.” He also suggests the amount of safe airspace has now got so small, the old guy is piloting a solution: a worldwide network of sleeper helpers in every community. The Send A Nice Toy Annually network, or SANTA: warm-hearted people who go about their business all year then go to work at Christmas using drones. “The sort of thing Amazon would kill for.” It makes sense. Drones are suddenly everywhere. There has been a huge rise in the number crashing in British prisons, carrying drugs and phones. Nine in October alone, according to reports. Nobody knows how many get through. But talking of dubious activity, what is Dark Santa? I’m afraid it’s bad news. The elves have gone rogue. My source suggests store Santa’s are being used for triage, working out who’s naughty or nice. Every visit to a grotto is a secret interrogation. They’ve set up a huge database – it’s easy to keep your servers cool in the Arctic circle – scanning Snapchat, WhatsApp and Instagram, hacking into the Pentagon, GCHQ even Facebook. You’d better watch out. You’d better think twice before posting that photo. His eyes are everywhere and he can see if you have been naughty or nice!

How does Santa get to All the Houses?!

by Elf Green
Within the laws of physics, how could one man and his sleigh pulled by reindeer deliver presents to the whole world on one night? “Actually, he has more than one night,” says Dr George. “The Orthodox calendar puts Christmas on a different day, in January, so he has two shots at this.” Then she drops a bombshell: “Not everybody believes in Santa!! Not everybody is good.” This comes from experience, having just given a public lecture on “The Science of Santa”. They like to engage people of all ages with science and technology at Keele, and themes like this help with that. “I don’t say: ‘This is exactly how it happens.’ I do say: ‘This theory exists. This offers a possibility.’” So.. let’s hear it… There are 2.2 billion children in the world according to Unicef; Dr George divides that in half (roughly two per household). Then she divides it again to reflect the proportion of families with value systems based on Christianity, which has been crucial to the evolution of the pagan figure of midwinter into Saint Nicholas, then into the fat, jolly chap in his red Coca-Cola outfit. “About one third of children believe and are good,” says Dr George with a dollop of parental generosity. That leaves Santa with 366 millionish visits to make. His journey around the world has been calculated at 7.5 million kilometres. “That’s to the Moon and back 10 times.” She divides the distance by 48 hours to calculate that he needs to move at 156,579 kilometres per hour. Scientists disagree about this – they really do, passionately; it’s one of their favourite things to do at Christmas – because some want to take into account the extra hours he can get by flying west across time zones. Still, he’s fast. America’s fastest fighter jet, unveiled earlier this year, will fly at Mach 5.1. By most calculations Santa’s sleigh has to reach at least Mach 100. The top speed of the average reindeer is just 15 miles per hour. Fortunately, these are not be the average reindeer. They can fly, for a start. If that seems impossible, consider this: according to a study in the journal PLOS Biology, there are 8.7 million species in the world and humans have yet to discover, categorise or name 86 per cent of them. So in theory, Rudolph could be out there. The heat generated by all that friction would vaporise him (although Dr George believes Rudolph is actually a female reindeer, because the males have all lost their antlers by this time of year) but the Norwegian astrophysicist Knut Jorgen Roed Odegaard provides the definitive word: “Santa obviously has an ion-shield of charged particles, held together by a magnetic field, surrounding his entire sleigh.” There should, however, be a continuous series of sonic booms as Santa breaks the sound barrier many times on Christmas Eve. “That would be deafening,” says Dr George. “It would wake all the children up.” Her solution has to do with a phenomenon observed in quantum physics, in which some particles appear to pass through energy barriers that should stop them. “Instead of burning up in the sky or having a magic key to get into everyone’s houses, he could be using quantum tunnelling.” The theory is related to Schrödinger’s cat, which is a hypothetical animal inside a box, with a poison that will be released if an unpredictable source starts generating radiation. Scientists like to say the cat is both alive and dead until you open the box and see what has happened. Dr George applies this to mean that, in theory, Santa could actually be all over the world on Christmas Eve – as long as nobody sees him. “If you observe him then the wave form collapses, your Santa is fine and he’s there, but all the other Santas in the world disappear, you spoil Christmas for everybody else.” So keep your eyes shut for all our sakes!!

Will Santa Make Christmas?!

by Elf Green
Doctors warn Santa at risk….. Christmas 2020 will be unlike any other, but good boys and girls can rest assured that Santa Claus will still visit after he has been given the all clear by the doctor to fly across the world to deliver all the presents. Professor Emer Shelley, the dean of the Faculty of Public Health Medicine at the Royal College of Physicians of Ireland, said travel restrictions would not apply to Father Christmas and he can visit as usual, even if people have to have smaller family gatherings. “Everybody is asleep when Santa Claus calls, so he’s not going to come across anybody when he travels all around the world from Lapland,” she told ITV’s Good Morning Britain programme. “Secondly, he travels so quickly that even if a part of his entourage were to have the virus attached to them, there is no risk of transmitting the virus to anybody … so at least that’s some good news on the public health front.” This will come as very good news to every child across the world who will be awaiting his visit come Christmas Eve.

Santa Claus to show banned Iceland Christmas Advert on Santa-Cam

Caught on Santa Cam, Banned Iceland TV advert
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Breaking News: Caught on Santa-Cam: Trump FIRES his attorney general pick Jeff Sessions live on Santa Cam and replaces him with ultra-loyalist who could now oversee probe into Russian election interference

Trump caught on Santa-Cam at the White House
It may be the Christmas season fast approaching but there was no good will shown today at the White House when President Trump was caught on Santa-Cam sacking his Attorney General Jeff Sessions
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